Joshua Ryan Levering

Our Story
7/19/04

What a day. I've never in my entire life been so overjoyed, so terrified, so upset, so sad, and so happy, all in the same day. Joshua Ryan Levering decided to make his entrance into the world at 28 weeks (12 weeks early). I had a "routine" doctor's appointment on Monday at 2:00. I hadn't been feeling as well as I had previously, but figured that it was just one of the "downs" of the pregnancy ups and downs. Saturday, I felt like he had shifted down and toward the center of my body a little more, and he seemed to be moving around a little more, but I figured that he was just making room and getting himself comfortable. I felt a little better on Sunday, and figured I'd just talk to Dr. Smith on Monday and see if she had any concerns based on how I was feeling.

I got up on Monday morning and had to run a few errands. My belly wasn't feeling all that great, and I had what I felt like were gas pains during the hour I was out between 8:00 and 9:00. I figured that something I ate wasn't agreeing with me, and when I got home, went to the bathroom, took a short bath, and laid down for a short nap to see if I felt any better, which I did...I went from 11-12 "waves" (which I now realize were contractions) of the "gassy pain" from 8:00 - 9:00 to about 2 or 3 between 9:00 and noon. I thought about calling the doctor, but figured that since I was going to an appointment at 2:00, there was no point in trying to push the appointment ahead by a couple of hours. I got to my appointment and she checked my vitals. When she tried to check my cervix, she had a hard time "locating" it, but finally got a view of what she thought was the right thing (it was the same angle as some of the other pictures), and it appeared that the cervical length was around 2.7 cm (as long as it's over 2.5 cm, she said that they don't worry about it). I told her about having not felt as good, and about the gassy pains. I told her that occasionally I felt like my uterus was tightening up, but I thought that it was just the baby moving around a little. She didn't seem concerned, but said that they'd put me on the monitor at the office just to check.

I was on the monitor at the office for about 20 minutes or so, and during that time, had 3 of the pains that I'd been having. Dr. Smith said that it appeared that I was having some small contractions, and that just to be on the safe side, she was going to send me to Lewis Gale Hospital to let Dr. Kelly (who was on call there) monitor me and make sure that I wasn't having contractions due to preterm labor. I got to Lewis Gale, and they got me all set up in a room, put the monitors around my belly, put in an IV, and let me rest there for awhile. The nurse had me mark when I felt the contractions, and then Dr. Kelly came around eventually to check on me. The monitor wasn't registering much, but when he felt my stomach as I told him I was feeling one, he said that I was definitely contracting. He ordered a steroid shot and another shot for me while I was there...the steroid to boost the baby's lung function should it end up being born (with another to follow within 24 hours), and the other shot to try to stop the contractions. He used a speculum and actually looked at my cervix, and said that it was dilating a little. He decided to send me over to Community Hospital, telling me that if I were to end up having the baby, he would rather me be there because they have a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) (Lewis Gale doesn't have one). He arranged for an ambulance to take me over to Community Hospital, and pretty soon, we were on our way.

I got to Community Hospital around 6:00 p.m. and they got me settled into a room. As they transferred me from the stretcher to a bed, I had some bleeding, which really got me scared. They told me that it was probably the cerclage tearing a little from the contractions. Dr. Albers came in to talk with me, and they took all my medical information. She ordered a magnesium mixture to be added to my IV to try to stop the contractions, telling the nurses to bypass the "send it downstairs to be mixed up" orders and to get it mixed an in there immediately. She had to run out to deliver another baby, but said that she'd be back in as soon as she was done to check on me. All this took about a half an hour up to this point. I laid in the bed, and the contractions started intensifying, and seemed to be coming more often. I called the nurses to ask how quickly that medicine was supposed to stop or slow the contractions, and they said it usually worked within about 15 minutes of them adding it, which they did when the came in to answer my question. They warned me that it might make me feel like I had the flu (hot flashes, nauseous, etc.), but that should pass within 20 minutes or so. Within about 10 minutes, the contractions had intensified and increased, and were coming very quickly, almost one right after another. I called the nurses (actually, I pounded on the nurse call button about a hundred times without waiting for an answer)...I told them that something was VERY wrong...I could feel myself bleeding, and felt like the baby was trying to come out. They said they'd call the doctor, and I "yelled" at them that they didn't have time to call and wait for the doctor to finish and show up, they needed to find someone NOW, because I felt like I had to push. A bunch of people showed up in my room, and everything started happening VERY fast.

I probably have orders of events off a little here, but with the way things happened, I don't remember a lot of details. I remember at one point, I think right before I started pounding on the nurse call button, I sent Chris out to get someone, and I heard him talking to a doctor and heard the doctor say "you're having a baby tonight." I have never been so scared in my entire life. Anyway, all these people were in my room, and they were all asking questions of me, the nurses, each other, etc. I remember one person asking about the position of the baby, and I told them that it was breech. They asked about an ultrasound, but they hadn't had time to do one at Community Hospital. I told them that Dr. Smith saw feet on the vaginal ultrasound at 2:00 that afternoon, so unless something drastic had happened, he was still feet first. I also reminded them that I had the cerclage in. They had rolled me from one side, to the other, and up onto all fours, then put me back on my back, and said that they were going to have to deliver. For some reason, I got the impression that the baby was in distress and that was why they were rolling me around, but Chris said that he thought it was to try to make me more "comfortable." As they rolled me over, a nurse came in with a caddy of needles and stuff, and I thought maybe they were going to give me an epidural so they would be able to do a C-section if necessary (found out later that she was just there to take a blood sample). After they got me back on my back, someone checked and said that I was fully dilated, and they were going to have to deliver. I asked them how...were they going to do a C-section since the baby was breech and I had the cerclage? Sometime around that point, Dr. Albers came running back in to the room. There was about a minute's hesitation when I think they were going to rush me to the operating room, but the doctor checked me and apparently felt membranes, or feet, or cord...or something, and said that I was going to have to push.

At that point, Chris was at my head, holding my hand through the contractions and telling me that everything would be alright. I just remember crying and telling him that it was too early for all this. There were about ten people from my waist down, and they had my legs thrown up on stirrups. They told me to push with the next contraction. At that point, the contractions were practically on top of each other, and when I started pushing, I couldn't tell when I was having one. They kept counting to ten, then telling me to take a deep breath and push again. They asked at one point if I wanted to rest until the next contraction, but I think in the back of my mind, I still felt like they were rushing because the baby was in distress, and the only thing I could think was that I needed to push him out so that that stress would be removed. So I just kept pushing and taking a deep breath, then pushing again. I remember at one point I went to push again and the doctor asked me if I was having another contraction, and it was weird, because I didn't know. All I knew was that once I felt that urge to push, I wasn't stopping just to wait for a contraction to "help." Within minutes, I felt something coming out...apparently he came out feet first not bottom first; the amniotic sac came at the same time (they burst it at that point), and then his arms, shoulders, and head. It was totally surreal...I have never in my life felt a sensation like that. It was really strange to me, because the actual delivery didn't feel painful to me...it was very uncomfortable, but I don't know if I was just so preoccupied with everything else that it didn't hurt, or what, but the actual delivery wasn't the worst part. The contractions were what were painful. I guess it makes sense, but I just always thought that with labor and delivery, the actual pushing of the baby was the painful part. Of course, the fact that he was so small probably made it much less painful to me than had he been full term and weighed more.

I guess on some level, I could just feel what was happening, because I didn't open my eyes until they told me that he was out and that I had a baby boy. I was so happy, and so terrified all at the same time. I couldn't believe that I had just had a baby, but I was terrified that he wasn't alive. Apparently they had to resuscitate him because being so small and early, once he got out, he didn't want to breathe on his own. But they worked on him for a couple of minutes, then wrapped him in a blanket and laid him down beside me. They let me kiss him and look at him, then rushed him out and up to the NICU so they could clean him up, get him stabilized, and do what they needed to do to take care of him.

As for me, they cleaned me up a little, and the doctor (this time a male doctor whose name I can't remember) checked me over. He said that I had a little tearing, and put in a couple of stitches. He also realized that I still had the cerclage in, so he went back and took that out as well (that part was rather uncomfortable...probably made less so by the fact that I had just delivered a baby). At that time, he checked my cervix, and said that even though I delivered with the cerclage in, since the stitch was only intact on the left side, and that side didn't dilate, it didn't appear that there was any tearing around my cervix (which is a really good thing...one of the things I was really worried about in the case of a vaginal delivery).

So anyway, they finished up with me, and got me all cleaned up, and settled back down. Mom, Dad, and Sarah had all gotten there at that point (they got to see him when they wheeled him out in the incubator), and they all came in to check on me. The nurse came back in to take my blood, and the other nurse who was there during delivery helped get me settled. They kept me in that room for about an hour, while they got a room set up for me on the next floor up (they usually don't deliver in the room that I was in, but with the way things happened, they didn't have time to get me to a regular labor and delivery room). They also told me that as soon as they got the baby stabilized, they'd take us up so we could see him.

We decided to name him Joshua Ryan. We had decided on Joshua awhile back for a boy, named after Chris's best friend growing up, Joshua Poyant, who died of cancer two years ago. We were debating between Layne and Ryan for middle names...Layne for my maiden name and Ryan just because we both liked it. No one thing in particular made us decide on Ryan...at the time, it just seemed right.

We finally got to see him about an hour later, right before they took me to my room. He is SO tiny...but so wonderful! People have told me how amazing it is that your whole world changes and you just have so much love for a baby when it's born, but I never expected it to be so completely overwhelming. He's just beautiful, and I just can't believe that we created him!

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